Imagine Wanting Only This
I will discuss how Kristen’s discovery of a fellow explorers
memorial drastically changed her understanding of these buildings,
our mortality, and humanity as a whole.
To begin my critical discussion I would like to first discuss the discovery of Seth Thomas’ memorial. On page twenty-six Kristen and her boyfriend arrived in Gary, Indiana. They had traveled there to explore the abandoned city. During their exploration they came across a large cathedral that was in ruins. Drawn in by their curiosity they began to explore inside. It was exactly what they had expected, and they were intrigued by its vastness. However, among the rubble Kristen’s boyfriend discovered some photographs. Page twenty-eight depicted this moment through four panels, two of which were elongated. The two middle panels showed the moment he discovered the photographs, and the minute after when Kristen rushed to retrieve them. This created a sense of time being rushed as it only took the brief closure between the panels for her to reach the photographs. It was in the last elongated panel that Kristen saw Seth for the first time. In this moment she carefully studied the photo searching for meaning. At this point in time she did not recognize him, but she knew something didn’t seem right about his photos presence in the church. It troubled her, as she thought they would be better suited in an exhibit. Going against her boyfriend’s advice she took the mold covered photos home with them. This was only the beginning of their influence on her.
Upon further research into the origin of the photographs, Kristen was shocked to find that they represented the life and death of a young man named Seth Thomas. He, like Kristen, loved to photograph and explore old abandoned buildings such as the cathedral. He was twenty-three at the time of his death and was struck by a train while taking a photo of it. To respect his memory his friends had created a memorial for him inside the cathedral. Unknowingly, it was this memorial that she had took the photos from. Her realization of what she did and his sudden death was well represented on page thirty-seven through the use of panels and an online news report. The two larger panels are surrounded by enlarged text that appears in the report. This replicates her reading and double checking what she read. It is also similar to a movie where the words are emphasized and enlarged when the actor is reading so the viewer can also see. The actual news report then packs a punch and makes it seem more real. The next two pages follow in a similar pattern as she tries to take in what she is reading. I believe that his sudden death caused her to truly realize her own mortality, as she had just discussed her heart condition on the page before.
In the following chapter Kristen reflects on her relationship with her uncle before he passed away suddenly. As she reflects on his funeral, she also acknowledges how the day after the funeral the smell of the photographs rotting away in her closet demanded her attention. Even though she needs to get rid of them, on page sixty she simply states “I’m busy, I told myself, and he’s already dead” (Radtke, 60).
This seems to show denial, as she comes up with an excuse to not throw them out. On the following pages sixty-two and sixty-three, the pages are broken up into four panels on each page. As the reader reads from left to right they watch as the mold from the photos expands from the closet into the entirety of the room. The mold of course is not visible, but acts more of a way of depicting the photos effect on Kristen. In the panels Kristen discusses all the negative aspects of the apartment, and seems quite depressed. Quickly and quietly the mold represents the growth of her unhappiness and desire to finish what Seth started. Not long after, she left her boyfriend behind and began to travel. She traveled to Italy and found that she was still not satisfied. On page eighty-one she discussed how since she had left Gary where Seth’s photos were found she became “consumed by the question of how something that is can become, very suddenly, something that isn’t” (Radtke, 81). Though she connected it to the restoration of the buildings in Italy, her desire to then admire the pictures of Seth speaks a different story. On page 106 a show called Urban Explorers featured a story on Seth. This again brought up something unsettling as she said on page 109 “Maybe, I thought, being stuck is what killed Seth” (Radtke, 109). I feel this represents the moment when she finally admitted that she too might have the same fate as him if she didn't do something different. The similarities became too uncomfortable for her, causing his death to actively shape her future.
Now I would like to fast forward to page 224 in chapter six, one of the last pages where Kristen directly reflects on Seth’s life and her connection to him. She is in the middle of traveling and stops to question if his friends had noticed his pictures were gone from the memorial. She also said “When I thought about Seth, I tried to invent significance in my finding of him, or the relics of him. As if taking his pictures to Europe and leaving them there had released him somehow” (Radtke, 224). This directly relates to how she thought that being stuck in Indiana killed him. Essentially, she is saying that by her traveling with his photos she finished his unfinished business and released him. He was now free in the same way she felt. This realization for her seemed to be enough to acknowledge that our existence on this Earth is short and we can only do so much. With what time we have we need to make a mark because once you are gone “You will have touched nothing on the Earth” (Radtke, 278).
In conclusion, I feel that the examples I have presented throughout this blog perfectly represent how Seth’s death drastically changed Kristen’s understanding of our existence and humanity. From the first day she found his photos she could not help but connect with him. Their similarities bound her to his story and caused her to expand her horizons. Had it not been for the discovery of those photos she would never had traveled as far. She would also not have questioned what is out there beyond what she knows. I also feel that his sudden death and that of her uncle, pushed her to realize that humans come and go, we will not live forever so we must live while we can. Life is too short not to enjoy its beauty.
Book Cover: Retrieved from http://www.wisconsinbookfestival.org/sites/default/files
/9781101870839_0.jpg
Picture of Kristen Radtke: Retrieved from https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/
static/2017-01/11/18/enhanced/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane-02/grid-cell-15339-1484177102-9.jpg
All Photos of Book Pages: Taken on my computer straight from the book
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